Actor At Heart T-Shirts

"I've got it! If we don't send Stanley Kauffman any tickets, maybe he won't come!"

"I was a child actor and now I'm an attorney. What does that prove?"

"Pander to a lower common denominator."

I'm freaking out! Thursday is dress rehearsal. Nerves? Work! I've got a math and history test on Friday. Why did I ever sign up for the spring musical? Because it's fun? West Fester High School. On my college application it'll look like I had fun. It'll go with your "Looks aren't important" essay.

Shepherd and eurydice

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Bond James, Bond."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Benedict Cumberbatch

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'They all want to play the star.'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Hamlet'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."