Active Lifestyle Advocate T-Shirts

'Try to become as active as your bladder.'

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'The doctor said that exercise could add years to my life. He was right. I feel 10 years older after that!'

"I used to monitor the watch. Now the watch monitors me."

"I'll make you a deal: do something that's considered active, and I'll let you get on your computer for a few minutes."

"You're too sedentary."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Sustainability files, ways to reduce your carbon footprint

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

Elderly People

Yoga Beginners Class. Breathe and stretch. That's Good. URGH! OOOF! "Yoga pants" should be something you wear and not something that happens because you can't catch your breath!

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

"You won’t need refills."

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

Friendly bacteria

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"You should try yoga. It makes you relaxed, flexible and loose."

"Exercise is a great way of losing weight."

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

'Normally, seafood is good for you.'