Acting Ace T-Shirts

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'They all want to play the star.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

'Hamlet'

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Comedy Cafe

A Hole in the Dike

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

Cut!

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Theatre Masks and Butts

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Joan Hickson

Monica Seles

Women's Martial Arts Center

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Jack Gleeson

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

"Toi Toi Toi!"