Accountant's Ally T-Shirts

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

Updated Fairy Tales. Having all of them around sure sweetened my stimulus check!

'This graph may need some explaining...'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

Accountant Bedtime Stories

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

Runner going through hurdles.

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

Overdraft limit.

I am billing, therefore I am.

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

"Good God! Has the dollar fallen that far?"

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

Toys - Business Model.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"You never saw a tax haven. Now look into this light.

'I realize I'm making a huge salary... but I gotta be me.'

Is there a reason I'm going into the red? Reason? Am I being penalized? Have I done something wrong? Maybe it's like A Wonderful Life. Your greed is catching up to you. You're experiencing bad karma. So I need to raise my prices?

"Glad to see you Hotchkins... Abernathy must have been the company embezzler!"

'What, you again? And you'll want credit as usual, I suppose!'

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

Man about man: 'John here sells mutual funds and worry beads.'

'I see accounting forgot to pay the gravity bill again.'

'Fortunately, our decline was slowed here when the marker ran dry.'