Account Organizing Ace Pillows

"Tia Carmen, you can't keep your savings in a coffee can! You need to divide your assets and diversify your accounts."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Failure/Due Diligence

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

In one ear/Out the other.

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"You can go home now, Barmpot - we've balanced."

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

"How much do you need?"

"Never forget he's a wild animal."

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

Tax - Random Audit

Accountants can be fun!

'We have to move again -- I've worn out all the banks in town.'

'What made that candidate stand out?'

"Today we're filling out mock college applications."

"The numbers don't lie, but we can fix that."