Account Organizing Ace Pillows

"Tia Carmen, you can't keep your savings in a coffee can! You need to divide your assets and diversify your accounts."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Failure/Due Diligence

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

In one ear/Out the other.

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"You can go home now, Barmpot - we've balanced."

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

"How much do you need?"

"Never forget he's a wild animal."

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

Tax - Random Audit

Accountants can be fun!

"Today we're filling out mock college applications."

'We have to move again -- I've worn out all the banks in town.'

'What made that candidate stand out?'