Accidental Chef Mugs

'Yeah, Hon - is the microwave supposed to glow redhot?'

Barbeque Casualty.

'I'm not an experienced cook so I use the smoke alarm as my timer!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Is that pancake ready yet?

'It wasn't premeditated.

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

"Larry does all his own stunts."

"You're doing it wrong."

Never use a cookbook written by a mystery book author. You never know how things will turn out!

Bathing and Showering.

"Rain or shine, me and you can do fondue!" "I'm ready for some yum!"

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

"Pulled chicken? You don't want to know."

'Tomato Surprise. Bean Surprise. Carrot Surprise. Why are you always so surprised when my garden produces?'

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

'I can't believe you cooked this all by yourself...you must have had an accomplice!'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

"Yes. That was great. . . but the real miracle is how my mom can feed us for over a week on Thanksgiving leftovers!"

"I followed the recipe and this is where it led me."

Sushi Spinoffs

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

'I'm afraid I'll have to close you down. Your kitchen is infested with greenfly.'

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

Hair trigger

'During my trip around the World, I took some pictures with this new digital camera... here is my finger covering the lens in Sidney... here in New York... Rome... Lisbon... Hamburg...'

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

Murphy's Slaw.

"I thought they were supposed to comeback."

"Whoa! Looks like a worker's comp thing, Carl."

Congratulations, Mort. I noticed your campaign has already raised over $250,000. My what did what now? Very funny. I admire you, Mort. No Democrat has had the guts to take on Congressman Snidely in over 40 years. What are you talking about? I'm not running for anything. You've got a profile page up on the Justice Democrats' website. You're neck-and-neck in the polls. Justice Dem -- Wait a second, I thought I was ordering a t-shirt. I wondered why they had to run a background check for that. You'