Accident Resolution Pillows

'You're Jack Tinsley, the lawyer? Great, I was just on the way to see you about an accident I had this morning.'

Barbeque Casualty.

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Big slipper.

'I have this horrible premonition that he's turning into a butterfly.'

"It's worse than I thought."

'We've found the problem...'

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

'Your fee is causing us more mental anguish than the accident.'

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

'I've brought my car in to have the brake system adjusted.'

'Does that mean no sex tonight?'

She left him to go find herself. It only took 20 minutes, which was sort of embarrassing, so she decided to hang out at the mall for a while.

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'Little Tommy took the cap off the sauce bottle when he got home from school in the end.'

'It's lucky for you your legs are O.K.!'

"I never would've encouraged you to step out of your comfort zone if I'd known you were such a klutz."

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

'What are YOU doing here?'

"The brakes still feel spongy to me."

"And hold the mayo."

'Good news honey! My golf clubs are okay!'

'I was directing my feet to the sunny side of the street, and a BEER TRUCK got me.'

'I can't understand it. I was driving one way on a one way street.'

Live To Crash, Crash To Live.