Accident-prone Renovators T-Shirts

DIY store with a first aid department

'I found the termites!'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

House Painter gets stuck to the ceiling.

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

Homes for sale - some assembly required.

'Oh yes, Leomard's a fixit-it man. Only problem is, who'll fix it after him?'

'I know it's hard to believe, but before this, I'd never built a thing!'

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

DIY Disaster.

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

'Probably left here my the decorators, as I was saying, the roof is watertight.'

'Wouldn't it have been easier to cut off the top of the tree?'

Heaven - under new management.

"After the kids moved out I turned their space into a guest room."

Shaker Timeouts

"It's a quote from the builder, he's wanting £900 just to come around and sneer at us!"

"Worst-case scenario? The renovation goes three years and two million dollars over budget, one of you bludgeons me to death with my own hammer, and you both get the electric chair."

"They send me in after the works done to handle any complaints."

Ladder Painting

"That'll teach you for buying cheap paintbrushes!!"

'If it were my house I'd put it on life support.'

'He has weapons of mass destruction.'

'I just love what you've done with the kitty litter box.'

'Do it yourself?'

Prime Minister: did you want the Houses of Parliament knocked down completely? If not - my bad...

Punch Initials - T

Builders

Missing Contractor