Academic Under Pressure Gifts

An Archeologic Dig

Ethics exam cheater.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

"About these experiements of yours into genetic cloning, Bond" boomed the Headmaster, "They must cease immediately"

'At least you won't have to worry about the rising costs of a college education.'

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"Why do I have to work hard at school? I can buy a degree on the internet!"

We get it, Simone. You went to obedience grad school. Be cognizant of the canis familiaris.

Test Therapy

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

'I probably won't be asked to be the first brain donor.'

"I'm broke, I'm back...and I'm willing to discuss law school."

'Forget the test Mrs. Winslow. Let's send out for pizza!'

History exam marked as an 'Epic fail'.

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

'You're in Graduate School now. I think it's high time I stopped doing your home work.'

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

'It's the toxic learning environment.'