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"Where do you want to meet tonight, my safe space or your safe space?"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

Scarcity

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"Finally...school starts next week."

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

Max Weber

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

'He was very big in Vienna.'

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

There are two schools of thought. But they are spelled differently. And one of them is wrong.

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

Classroom.

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

'That's it?'

'But I only came to Oxford because I heard I could wear a gown!'

Emile Durkheim

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

'I'm getting a little concerned about Timmy. He hasn't wormed his way out of anything all semester.'

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."