Academic Attire Aficionado T-Shirts

'But I only came to Oxford because I heard I could wear a gown!'

A teacher in mortar board and gown

"Congratulations—It's a well dressed boy."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"Working from home is a great idea, Dad. We'd just like to establish some kind of dress code."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

'He was very big in Vienna.'

'Can you tell me who's in charge here?'

Catsuit

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

There are two schools of thought. But they are spelled differently. And one of them is wrong.

'I can't understand it, every time I wear a tuxedo, I wake up the next day with a blinding headache.'

'Is the poodle of the house in?'

"That's O.K., I'll go—'m dressed."

"Tammy's Style Shop went on a selling spree."

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

"It's so drapey—should I get something with a crisper line?"

'You have to look sharp. You'll be evaluated by the lawyers in this case!'

Dressing Rooms.

Penguin trying on a suit.

"They all failed?! What on earth was the question?" "How do you fund a university?"

'Good news! We've finished the Christmas leftovers.'

"School is loverly this time of year."

'You need to get your grades up...because good grades are an early sign of good credit scores.'

'What do you think you're fit for?'

"That tie, Merrick. It's not your friend."

'We're promoting you to Full Professor, Ferguson -- Here are your elbow patches!:'

Proctor addressing a university student

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'