Academic Hopeful Pillows

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"Would a beard make me look more academic?"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'I really crammed last night.'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

National Academy of Sport

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

The Giamatti era

Good luck in your A Levels.

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

'That piggy bank is for my college fund.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

Parental Role Model

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'