Academic Go-getter Gifts

"Your biological clock is ticking, Edwards - you haven't come up with anything in four years."

Scarcity

Good Luck!

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"I hope it indicates a quick promotion."

Max Weber

London merchant telling a young employee that if he does not change his behaviour his career will go badly and he may end up becoming mayor

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

Targets

'There's no justice. By the time I got the upper hand, I had arthritis in it.'

"I like your attitude, Harris."

"Don't get your hopes up, Filby."

"I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing."

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

"Dad, now can I be a fireman?"

'That's it?'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

Emile Durkheim

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"Boy, that's that last time I ask my Dad for help on my homework!"

"No... He's not Superman! The S stands for supersalesman."

'Quick! Play dead!'

Goodbye Party Today - Prof Whiley is Retiring to Spend More Time with his Inner Child.

"School is loverly this time of year."

"In this country, son, anything is possible, including you going out and getting a job."

'First, you have to get their attention.'

Dogs are in line waiting to take the 'S.A.T' test..

"I hear we're all getting valentines from Lawrence Summers."

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'

"Our daughter wanted to be an art major here and this was the only way Linda and I could steer her to the accounting program."

'She always has her own way. She even writes her diary a few days in advance.'

"Actually, I did so well with the lemonade stand I'm now selling my how-to book on start ups."