Academic Conference Pillows

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"Again we've proven something no one will ever care about."

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Eternal Student.

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"Meet the scribe"

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Inclusive speech

Punctuation Police