Academic Achievement Pillows

Presentation: Any questions?

'I'm sorry but you don't get any credit for giving it 'the old college try'.

"My mom's getting me a tutor. That's kind of a personal trainer for the brain."

"Everything's higher this year."

Graduate

'It's a good report card, Dad. Better catch it on video.'

GCSE Results.

'And a second degree in Australian studies.'

Two cars are side by side with bragging bumper stickers.

"If you insist on giving me a gift for being accepted into Oxford, I could use a new DVD player...gift wrapped in a BMW."

"How was work?"

"I can't believe it...I got a 'B' average this year. Do you know what that means?"

"Is there an ebony tower, too?"

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"I think Robert has a bright future."

"I lettered in spelling."

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

"Is this going to be on the midterm?"

'Books - food for our soul.' (child grows to be a scholar)

'Mum, Dad, I've topped the class: Not bad for a bird brain!'

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

A fish takes a selfie on land.

"The best thing about winning an academic decathlon...is the new friends you make."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

Science Fair Judgements

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I just got accepted to Yale." "I'd jump up and down for joy but my boobs are just way too big for that nonsense."

"They called me Dumbo. A memoir of redemption."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."