Academic Accountability Advocates Gifts

"Don't look at me - it's YOUR D.N.A.!"

Under new blame.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

Working in a blame culture?

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

Investigating Yourself

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!

Can't Affordiversity

"You don't need pronouns in your presentation. That's what finger-pointing is for."

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'

Owning your mistakes at work shows that you hold yourself accountable, and builds trust and credibility.

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

Making Amends: I haven't harrassed anyone in weeks....My new career: I'll be a secretary....to a female executive. Women can harass em all they life. I sentence myself to house arrest for 30 days, make that 90 days.

'It's not our fault.'

Jobless Recovery

'Management can't avoid responsibility for poor patient care...I want to tender my resignation!'

'The new business plan is the same as the old business plan except that, due to layoffs, we have less scapegoats to blame in case of failure.'

Civilian Oversight

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

"That's the danger of mono tasking...you're too easily held accountable."

"Since I know you got your book report off the internet, and you know I got my math lesson off the internet, I guess we're even."

'Stick to your diet or our talking scale will rat you out!'

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

"I realize Kyle was looking at your answers, but that doesn't mean you can sue him for theft of intellectual property."

United States Senate Ethics Committee - All members being investigated.

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

Nassar is caught while MSU officials remain.

A Breakdown in Process

'Today's seminar will focus on individual accountability in the workplace. I did not deliver the handouts to the printer on time, soe we won't be able to refer to them. it's not my fault.'