Academic Accountability Advocates Gifts

"Don't look at me - it's YOUR D.N.A.!"

Under new blame.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

Working in a blame culture?

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

"You don't need pronouns in your presentation. That's what finger-pointing is for."

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!

Can't Affordiversity

'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

Owning your mistakes at work shows that you hold yourself accountable, and builds trust and credibility.

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

'The new business plan is the same as the old business plan except that, due to layoffs, we have less scapegoats to blame in case of failure.'

'Management can't avoid responsibility for poor patient care...I want to tender my resignation!'

'It's not our fault.'

Making Amends: I haven't harrassed anyone in weeks....My new career: I'll be a secretary....to a female executive. Women can harass em all they life. I sentence myself to house arrest for 30 days, make that 90 days.

Jobless Recovery

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

"Since I know you got your book report off the internet, and you know I got my math lesson off the internet, I guess we're even."

"That's the danger of mono tasking...you're too easily held accountable."

'Stick to your diet or our talking scale will rat you out!'

United States Senate Ethics Committee - All members being investigated.

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

Nassar is caught while MSU officials remain.

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

"I realize Kyle was looking at your answers, but that doesn't mean you can sue him for theft of intellectual property."

'Today's seminar will focus on individual accountability in the workplace. I did not deliver the handouts to the printer on time, soe we won't be able to refer to them. it's not my fault.'

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."