Absurdity Lovers Pillows

Breakfast surreal.

Please help - Experiment Went Horribly Wrong...

'You're accused of running too fast and knocking down a pedestrian...'

The Broken Clock That Is Wrong Twice A Day

LOST & FOUND, 'Where did you last see this pink elephant?'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Tourists and their Pets.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"He was a sea rescue."

Glance Exchange

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Extreme Sisyphus

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"Now you can send it."

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Who's next?"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

"Valet park only"

One way only.

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.