Absurdity Lover T-Shirts

"Everybody back! This man's swallowed his nose! Don't panic, I'm a sheet metal worker! Someone bring me a pail of water and a catcher's mitt!"

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'No, I'm not laundering money. The bills are just damp. I keep my money under my mattress and I think my waterbed is leaking.'

'What do you mean you were having so much fun riding with your buddies you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home over a year ago!'

Extreme Sisyphus

Man on desert island - 'I'll hold.'

Extreme Stalking.

What if...Fish could climb.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

What if sponges didn't suck...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

Sleepwalkers Club Night Out

"This is Harold Nordley speaking..."

'Looks like we're going to need a taller scaffold.'

'Now where did i leave that needle?' Haystacks. One more reason junkies hardly ever hang out in the country.

If a Mime Falls In The Woods...

A clown sees that his unicycle has been wheel clamped.

"Oh yes, here it is, early morning call 7:30...I can't imagine how we overlooked it Mr Van Winkle!"

'Business was slow: We had to diversify...'

Genie in a trash can.

'Personal foul ... Number five ... Tasing.'

Man busking for money on a desert island.

"I dropped my phone in the water. Order some rice."

"You again? Right! Turn around and go as far as you can until you come to the end of the world - then drop off!"

'The government wants to know why you have stopped paying taxes, Mr. Wilson.'

Leaking 'waterbed of nails'.

The survivor of a shipwreck is surprised to see a Tesco store in the middle of a desert island.

'Hello, Stranger. Hello' even Stranger.'

Sea Monster Gabs Desert Island

'And in local news: Bored housewife sells TV to buy crack.'

"Someone stole my boyfriend. Can I claim on my theft policy?"

Are You sure it will upgrade efficiency?

"Disgusting-all they grow in their garden is HAIR!"

"What ever happened to Baby Jane?...She opened a restaurant on the corner of 54th and Maple"