Abstract Admirer Gifts

"This is the show, Madam."

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

The Big Picture

People with tilted heads looking at crooked art gallery painting

'Sir, that's the burglar alarm.'

Trapped in a painting

'I love an empty canvas...especially yours...'

Meanwhile, back at the 'shape' party... 'Hey, check out the square dancing with Brenda...!'

'That's how I look before I put on my glasses.'

'Doing this was easy. Finding someone nuts enough to buy the crap - THAT'S art!'

'It's from his, ‘Hey, my kid could do better than that' period.'

Prisoner still life painting.

Welcome To The Tat Modern

'His goal is Sotheby's or Christies as a backup.'

'Is this how you REALLY see me, Ivan?'

"It's called 'Straight Lines'."

People admire a freshly painted wall

I'm just amazed at the difference in you since you started dating Picasso!

'You don't get it? My wife and the kids don't get it, too. . . I don't even get it myself. . . That means it must be art!!'

"Your work needs to be less 'obvious', three people understood it."

Sylvette David

"I prefer cubism." (caveman critiquing cave art)

Modern Art.

The Rokeby Venus

"That's the fire alarm. . ."

Gary Brown Self Portrait

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

'This one is making me hungry.'

'This one's seven thousand dollars.'

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

"What a load of crap"

"If that was football, you'd be cheering like mad!"

'Then he had a near death experience...'

'This elusive self-portrait of the artist is perhaps his most famous work. It was purchased, by the museum, for one hundred and ninety million dollars and is now valued at 900 million dollars...'