Abduction Theorist Mugs

"Hey, not so fast - I'm abducting her first!"

"You left this on our ship."

Alien Assumption

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

Nonsense Poem

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'Take me to your computer.'

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

Stranger in Strange Land's End Catalog

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

Robot Attack in Bath

Priest tries to decide between $3 angelfood cake and $1.50 devil's food cake.

"'Ere -what's YOUR problem...?"

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

"If we pull this off, we've made burglary history!"

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'

Shrinking beggar.

"There's no privacy anymore."

'You may find a few things have evolved since we abducted you for our research.'

The armchair pharmacologist speaks...

'I'd steer clear of them on the forth of July!'

"Naturally he's not getting his daily exercise. With the postman on strike there is nobody to chase!"

"You're quite the pick up artist!"

"Flying saucer-shaped unidentified cigar"

'If you can hear this you have been abducted.'

"You've made me very happy, but now I want to be miserable again."

'Sometimes I wonder if I spend too much time throwing batteries at seagulls?'

The world will end tomorrow! - "Do I look crazy? I lend you ten bucks...the world ends...and I never get ten bucks back!"