Abduction Fascinated T-Shirts

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"You left this on our ship."

Alien Assumption

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

"Could you keep still?"

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

Giraffe Portrait

"These cartoons are insulting! I don't like it at all! I would never watch something that shows Latinos like this!"

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

As Seen On TV

'Seriously folks...'

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."

Stranger in Strange Land's End Catalog

Who are you?

'Hmm, the snake's hissed off.'

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

A gymnast holding a balloon

"Hey, not so fast - I'm abducting her first!"

"See? You don't need fancy window displays to attract attention...just get some police tape!"

"It's just what I suspected: Obstruction of Justice."

'I'd steer clear of them on the forth of July!'

Spirits in the bottles

'Hey, I'm sorry! It's Spring, and I was watching the woman in the blue dress!'

4 Reasons for Procrastination

'If you can hear this you have been abducted.'

Demon at a lift in Hell.

"I'm in the middle of something. Can I call you right back?"

Tonight's Training - Post-Try Celebrations

Pieces of a totem pole jump of a seesaw