Ab Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"That stabbing pain in your abs -- that's your body telling you it'd rather be on the beach."

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

"Please mum - not the baby photos."

"So, professor, in a post-industrial robotic universe, what would be the role of politicians?"

"What, another live person?! Listen, do you have any computers over there I can speak with?"

You're my Statue of Liberty

A Sculptor chiselling out 'The Invisible Man' from a block of stone.

'He lives under the illusion that Charles Saatchi is going to barge in here someday and buy everything.'

"When I agreed to learn the ABC's, I thought D through Z would be optional."

"Read this. It's a draft of a novel I'm writing fro the young adult market. I want to make sure there's absolutely nothing in it you can relate to."

"But is it..?"

robot in car

"Well, look who woke up all bright-eyed!"

"An eight year old could do this. . .!!"

"Of course trees can walk. We're just lazy."

"I admire your efforts, but you never should try exercising to rap music!"

"I now pronounce you man-made man and wife."

'If you count my outie, I've got a seven-pack.'

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

"Having a fine old name really has been enough for me."

'Will a six pack protect you against market fluctuations?'

Acne Automation Works Outing

"I can't give you a reason for what I do or a logical explanation as to what I do: I'm an artist..."

Students singing 'Now we know our A-B-Os'