5th Wedding Anniversary Gifts

"Happy fifth wedding anniversary: wood!"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

Frog to frog: 'Do you promise to love me warts and all?'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"