Zen Master With A Taste For Convenience Pillows

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

Zenemies.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Yoga.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

"Hoarder."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'Tough day at the office! Somebody broke the water cooler!'

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

'There goes JB, still unflappable.'