Youthful Embracer Gifts

You Know You're Old When...

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"Spring is definitely here! Which means yard work is not far behind...."

Congratulations!

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

"You got better-looking as you got older—up to a point."

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

'I'd invite you in, but I'm way too young to settle for less.'

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

"A Clif Bar wrapper? That's why you dragged me up here?!"

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

'The little punks were waving a red flag at me! In my youth, I would have given them a run for their money!'

'Oh, Harold...How can I face our family and friends knowing you're a crossdresser?!'

Ned thinks back to his youth.

Life is more than I can bear phobia.

"I'm just trying to keep the business going until I can get my liquor license."

'She says she's 40 but she's forgotten to add on the V.A.T.!'

'All of a sudden all they care about is boys...and make-up.'

This Is Your Life

'...something that will make my wife look slim and twenty years younger...'

We are 50 going on 15...

"She's been seeing a very good grief counselor."

"We live here. We just dress this way to fit in."

'Oh s**t, I've been offered a job!'

'How do you do it? You don't look a day over 3G!'

Aging.

Gone were the days of emotional restraint.

Politically Correct Senior Birthday

It gets easier.

Even as he tries to let go, youth clings to Prof. Hills

'My car didn't start this morning.'