Youth Motivator Gifts

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

GCSEs

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

"Best project manager we ever had."

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'Great idea, Philpott. Wish you'd thought of it.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

I didn't want to become the company president, but the board of directors left me no choice. You were backed into a corner office.

Office Politics

Regardless children just want to fit in.

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

"Yes, we do have an incentive scheme - fall below that line and you're sacked."

'You're my best employee. You're punctual, ambitious and precise. The problem is ... it scares the devil out of my other employees.'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'

'I wouldn't worry too much about his communication skills....grunting is perfectly normal at his age!'

'Try as I may to get my ducks in a row, here's always some turkey stepping out of line.'

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

"Can you run that past me again, Watson - you seem to have lost me."

'Not right now, Timmy. First we're going to work on fielding ground balls. Maybe later we can discuss collective bargaining.'

Guidance Counselor's boxes, 'push'--'shove'.

Martin Jol

"... and if you guys don't shape up, I'm going to have to start kicking some butt around here."

"You make me want to be a better bag."

Fat Britain

'Lose weight or you're through as a western star!'