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Adult Crime, Not Adult Logic

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

Welcome to your new English Class.

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

The Boy Who Wanted To Be A Lawyer - "Father Desmond, we need an exorcism."

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

Make good decisions!

'Youth Baseball Clinic: How To Develop A Deep-Rooted Hatred Of The Media.'

'I'm not enjoying my childhood, I'm dealing with it.'

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

'I'm guessing it'll have to be by text.'

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

I think we got stuck with the rookie coaches. First thing -- Stop kicking your equipment around.

What's this about? The recession is devastating chain stores. Save our mall. They're the lifeblood of teen culture as we know it. What are your solutions? We're having a massive shop-in this Saturday! Shop 'til you drop. Big $$. Like a day of service? Exactly! But you'll feel even better about yourself.

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

Greta Thunberg

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

The Minor Issue

Girl to mother: 'Don't call me a teenager. From now on, I want to be referred to as a pre-adult.'

'Were the lemons grown locally?'

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

Courting The Youth Vote

'I just think everyone in the family should have the same rights and privileges.'

'I don't like to be called a 'senior citizen'. I prefer the term 'mature playmate''

'Don't get me wrong, I love children. I'm just not ready to hire them.'

Adult Crime, Not Adult Logic