Young Love Ponderer Gifts

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Playground reputation.

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

First love.

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

Sex Education

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'Your dad wouldn't let you borrow the car tonight?'

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

Enjoying the fishing? Waiting for a bite. Ha! All you want is to spot the cute guy. For your information, I'm looking for fish! Really? My hook is baited I'm trolling. Hope you catch something! Me, too!

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

'Wow, that was unforgettable.'-'What was?'

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

"Have you seen my wife?"

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

'I really like him but I can't bear waiting for THE LUNGE'

"I'm giving love one more try."

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

Hi, Rudy. What the -- ?! Don't rush me, Uncle Mort. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web. $12.50. What'd I say? You asked how last night's date went. You wanted to know If we hit it off … If we had a goodnight kiss … if there'll be a second date … If we went for long walks on the beach ... If we're getting serious ... if I've met her parents ... if I've thought of how to propose ... if she's said yes ... if we've moved in together ... if we've discussed giving you grand-nieces and nephews ... All I

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

"Apropo of nothing, would you still love me if I were a sausage?"