Young Love Ponderer Gifts

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Playground reputation.

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

First love.

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

Sex Education

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'Your dad wouldn't let you borrow the car tonight?'

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

"Have you seen my wife?"

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"I'm giving love one more try."

'I really like him but I can't bear waiting for THE LUNGE'

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

"Do you ever think of getting married?"

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

"Apropo of nothing, would you still love me if I were a sausage?"