Young Diplomat T-Shirts

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

'May I speak to you as a man to a woman?'

"Can a ten year old really declare his room a self-proclaimed state?"

"I got acquainted with a new kid and now we understand each other."

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'Ok - I'm reaching out!'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Set of scales with white family on one side and black people on the other.

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'And I bet the same resolution principles would work in your neighborhood conflicts.'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"If you must know, like most cats I'm a registered Independent!"

'I'll do your taxes for you, daddy, if you'll color these silly homework pictures for me.'

"If you don't bring me what I want, next year I'll go straight to the manufacturer in China!"

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'Shall we talk about your unacceptable behavior or shall we go directly to the penalty phase?'

'Before I mow the grass, I'd like to quote from section four, paragraph c, of the state child labor code...'

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

"Okay, it's a deal...you two pay me the same amount as your parents are, and I'll let you stay up an extra two hours."

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

"The teacher says I'm a poor listener, Dad. Will you raise my allowance?"

Russian and Chinese Alliance.

'They're lovely, but I want you to know I never say yes on first negotiations.'

"When can we start calling each other names like they did in the political debates."