Yogi With A Funny Bone Prints

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

My God, I need to fart.

Yoga classes door.

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

'Oh, sure -- You want me to waste my valuable time helping you extinguish your ego'

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

"Avoid sitting."

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

ME, MEDITATING ON NO-SELF

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"Here goes nothing."

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

"Complaining empowers us."

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

For Marcos, dissolving the ego was going to be a long-term process.

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'

'Yoga? Tell me more.'

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

I know it's not on the yoga dvd but a spider crawled up my sleeve

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

I love Yoga

"How come we never sleep at my place?"

"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"

"Remember, ladies, if you're doing this right, you shouldn't be able to do it."

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

Pot Needles

Death of a Goat Yoga Instructor