Yoga Skeptic T-Shirts

"We're figuring out how to bottle yoga and overcharge for it."

"No, Senator, I'm afraid stretching the truth doesn't count as yoga."

"Then I discovered drinking wine in yoga pants does the job just as well."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Gathering dust isn't dangerous in itself, but it's a sign of lack of exercise.'

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

Which Hogwarts house are you?

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"I don't speak Yoga. I speak Pilates."

'Can I have a refund if she puts the weight back on.'

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

Jeff was watching his weight.

1. Wealthy people will consider hiring others to do their exercise for them. They should not give in to this temptation, as studies have shown that this seriously slows down any truly serious body-building campaign. 2. The key word in isometrics is balance. Be sure every part of your body shares in the fun equally and you will be able to avoid awkward developments.

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

Hungry Panda Thirsty Hippo Curious Sloth

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

"Exercise?...What you need is more napping!"

Corporate urban legends

Airport Security. I had to go through the security pat-down three times --- They had trouble believing this is just my body and I'm not hiding anything.

''Buy low, sell high' is not considered an aerobic activity.'

'I felt an overwhelming nostalgia for the old video games where you sit on your arse.'

Pilattes

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

"Complaining empowers us."

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

"Thanks to yoga, I now gently stretch to conclusions instead of jumping to them"

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

I know it's not on the yoga dvd but a spider crawled up my sleeve

"I miss real mountains."