Yard Work Jester Pillows

Man cutting grass.

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Gardener

"First time pruning?"

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

Lawnmower

Conservation Area

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

Okay, dig that one up!

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Mulch madness"

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Beginning Yarder.

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"Must get a longer cable."

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'George! This way quick!'

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'