Yard Work Jester Pillows

Man cutting grass.

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"First time pruning?"

Gardener

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

Conservation Area

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

Lawnmower

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

Okay, dig that one up!

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

Beginning Yarder.

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

"Mulch madness"

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"Must get a longer cable."

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

'George! This way quick!'