Xbox Expert T-Shirts

"Cool game!"

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

Dad Trophies

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

"There's nothing wrong with her. With e-mail, texting and tweeting, she just hasn't needed to learn to talk."

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'Okay, who knows how to solve for 'X'?'

Not so much as a 'hello Tweety' since she got that games console!

"And how do you feel when your patient does online research and thinks he's an expert?"

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"Is there a geek of any kind in the house?"

Gamers

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

My password is ELEPHANT. It may not be the strongest, but I never forget it.

"Of course trees can walk. We're just lazy."

"Having a fine old name really has been enough for me."

'The new technology allows us to monitor all the players performance levels like heart rate, acting ability, etc.'

Let the profit-making begin!

'I felt an overwhelming nostalgia for the old video games where you sit on your arse.'

'Are you crazy? -- You can't spam SANTA!'

What should I do? I was answering a prayer and accidentally clicked "reply all."

They're on Twitter and playing Twister! Neat! Twizzler?

"I have to admit, that's the first time I'd ever heard the term 'tech support' incorporated into wedding vows."

I heard oil companies just discovered huge reservoirs of oil way under the ground, all around our town. But they can't get at it because President Obama declared the whole region a national monument before he left. Why would he do that? Doesn't he know we use oil to make plastic, and that my Playstation is totally made of plastic? What happens of I ever need to buy a fourth Playstation 4? He's endangering my supply just to save a bunch of trees and mountains and waterfalls and endangered bearico

'And you honey, how was your day at the PlayStation?'

"Well, it certainly sounds like he made the most of his final moments."

'I can't stay out very long...I have to help my father with his computer.'

'He's our computer expert.'

"It's OK, but I thought an Xbox would be something I could climb into."

"Alexa, Alexa on the wall..."

Overweight child playing virtual hopscotch on console

Intendo.

Expert and Ex-Pert