Writing Reports Prints

'Can you redo this report, Farley, and make it less stupid?'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

The Expert

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'You've been killing files again.'

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

Given seven minutes to finish, he flashed through the weekly report.

A Journalist's Weapons

Hitchcock's The Birds

'It's getting harder to tell when the news stops and the spin begins.'

If Watergate Happened Now the Press Would Be Too Busy Reporting on Tweets

"Why don't we call you 'Deeper Throat'?"

The Barrel of a Gun: the Press and the Truth

"So how much money do you make?"

"Skepticism, Jones? Tell me, how does that relate to journalism?"

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

"Will you stop 'tutting' until I've finished my report."

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'