Writing Ads Prints

Personal Ad.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

This Message Has No Content

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Lethal Presentation

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

If nobody had invented graphics

Creative department

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

The Alpha Seltzer

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

Direct Marketing...

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"