Worship Team Member T-Shirts

"I was on the worship team when they got carried away with the smoke and lights. Next thing I know I'm disoriented and falling off the stage."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Church for sports worshipers.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"We missed you at church Sunday."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

Come To Church Today and Beat the Christmas Rush.

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

Church: Open Sundays

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

'It helps with reception.'

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

Fitness in church.

'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

Curate talking to miners

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

'Just remember to get your punch lines in before they fall asleep.'

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."