World Markets Whiz Pillows

'It may be night here, but I'm day trading in Australia.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

The day the stock market went UP.

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'He's precocious.'

'As a romantic guy, nature always makes me thoughtful. Right now, I think about fast-food restaurant stocks.'

Yo-Yo Sales

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

"Great news, things are looking up in Iraq!"

"Good news. Pork bellies just dropped four points."

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

"Mum, Dad, my pocket money could do with some quantitative easing please."

"It's a graph of economic recovery...which way up do you want it?"

'US stocks dropped on news of more people buying cheap goods from China...'

Euro Balloon: Please watch out for other currencies on your way down!

'In the modern world manufacturing takes place in China. Most R&D is one in South Korea and support and logistics is based in India.'

"I learned about the birds and the bees in school. Now tell me about the bulls and bears."

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

Economic crisis.

'The Stock Market opened today, but just barely.'

'You were in commodities - cattle, stuff like that - so you must feel right at home here.'

"I'm not goofing off. I'm letting my money work for me."

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

"It's shrinkflation!"

'Sure, I'll come on board for five-hundred times your average worker's wage, plus double that in stock options, and unlimited use of the corporate jet. Also free postage.'