World Improvers Pillows

"Crazy politicians telling lies, mad extremists saying stupid stuff, warmongers and loonies everywhere...What could be more disturbing? What could be more important?..."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Tool Box

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

Allegro con molto espresso

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

Conservation Area

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

Cheating Death.

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

Mensa Does Improv

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'Workmate' bench helping DIY man "Left a bit"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

The Day Dreamer.

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Man's best friend

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."