World Event Enthusiast Gifts

Europe-migration

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"Oh, he's so romantic."

"That does it! ISIS is defeated."

The Difference Between Us and Them

'See?! The Israelis Are The Savage Ones.'

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

"It's our best trending merch."

"I know I was ecstatic to get tickets for Glastonbury - it's just that now I realise I have to go."

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

WTO-Free Traitor.

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

Invade This

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. By the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and speaker we hoped to use died in 1967...'

The trouble is not with your set -- Bill O'Reilly has finally just gone completely around the bend.

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

"I don't think of myself as nervous, I think of myself as well informed."

'If the 11 o'clock news gives you insomnia, don't watch it.'

'This is Hargreaves - he's in charge of corporate hospitality.'

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

Olympic Catering: 'A small coffee please.'

'And now a quick glance at tonight's top news stories.... Yikes!'

'She's just ring through - held up at the hairdressers.'

'There is always the chance that you won't be invited.'

The Government That Cried Wolf

'Another war news overdose!'

'There's no easy way for me to tell you this Brad, so I'll just say it... I'm... I'm pregnant.'

"Any more autonomous republics created while I was out?"