Workplace Wisdom T-Shirts

'My position is so unimportant I never worry about being backstabbed.'

'I know it all...I just can't remember it all at once.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

I'm a self-made man!

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

How are you at decision making?

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

Motivation to work

I'm not making enough money to like you.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"Just go with the workflow."

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

The role of administration.

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

'Apparently you can't fire everybody and still maintain productivity.'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."