Workplace Survivalist T-Shirts

"Oh, we never shoot the messenger. But we'd take away his access codes."

"I recommend the first thing you do as a new employee is learn to recognize the bosses wife's voice on the phone."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

'Thank-you God.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

Late/Too Late.

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Office worker pushing a pile of papers on trolley.

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

'Arf! Arf!'

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

Cafe Burns.

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Office Weather

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

Getting through the week.

'I hear they're letting you go. Your family must have paid the ransom.'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Twisted Peel works overtime.

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'