Workplace Story Pillows

"And then she slapped my face, injuring my beard."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

InIn by-products.

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'I don't like the looks of this ... '

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'