Workplace Safety Comic Lover Mugs

'Your responsibility as safety officer is to record accidents after the event.'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"I've been thinking, but I'm going to stop."

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

Speeding Forklift

"The boss went undercover and got fired the very first day!"

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

"I started in the Lab and worked my way up."

"Of course I'm proud to work here... Why do you ask?

'It's not that I don't appreciate the work you do for us, it's just that nobody does.'

"You are adequately qualified, Mr. Harris, but I'm afraid I'll be hiring somebody else as I don't think I can stand looking at your stupid little face all day long."

Lemon Flavored Water (Instead of Raises)

"No, son, there's no severance package."

'Your falback position, Petersen, is out the door.'

'Fortunately, Henderson's no fool - He's a damn'd fool.'

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

"I already have a co-worker replacement."

I'm the vice president of something or other...

'We need more boots on the ground.'

"Words cannot describe my feelings for your work, so I've sent you a string of vicious emojis."

"I'll make this brief, Anderson."

"In this company we don't just appreciate our workers. We celebrate them from their first until their last day, which as you might have noticed for you has come today."

'Is this the one with the fault?'

'This came in from somewhere. Could you send it somewhere else?'

'We're hoping to get enough for the boss to take early retirement.'

'I'm changing the holiday schedule, you're on holiday from now.'

"Make up one for the office that says 'Hard Head Area'."

'I'd think twice before picking c-4.'

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

In case of fire, change subject.

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

I'm reporting you for discriminating against tall people!

'We've been looking at a new 'incentive' scheme. The incentive is you get to keep your job!'