Workplace Productivity Gifts

I'm beginning to wonder if our terms of reference may be just a little bit too broad?'

'My next move is to figure out my next move.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'I think it has reached critical mass.'

"It has come to my attention gentlemen, that you have been doing the work of two men."

"New meeting rule: No looking at phones or playing with string."

"That's since we did away with coffee breaks and issued time release coffee patches to all employees."

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

"We all know the caffeine drip increases efficiency, but I also think we can eliminate the bathroom break with innovative usage of bedpans!"

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

"I start every day by making a list of the people I need to ignore."

"I like getting to work on time. I just wish someone was here to appreciate it."

Interruption Time Management

'Your supervisor says you have been giving 100 each week, but at the rate of 20 each day.'

'Your time could be better utilized than engaging in small talk.'

'I've an idea, why don't we just tear up all these targets and let people get on with their jobs!'

'Get up off your backsides and get to work.'

'Minimalism is fine in design, but not in work attendance."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.