Workplace Commander Pillows

Sailing enthusiast brings his hobby to his office.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

37 years in the same position.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'