Working Professional T-Shirts

"It's New York. It wants you back."

"Supermom isn't home right now - she's out fighting for truth, justice and a buck."

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'Why doesn't anyone ever ask me how I combine marriage and a career?'

'Next time, ask.'

'Well it's about time! My belly needs scratching.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."