Workforce Reduction T-Shirts

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Let's get organized

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

Outer Space Outsourcing

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Second hand furniture.

Very Difficult Conversations

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"In the current market, it's just more practical."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Not to mention the park view."

Yard Sale

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

'I've misplaced everything.'

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

Sick

"There's lots of things in my life I absolutely needed to put in, and now there's lots of things in my life I absolutely need to get out."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"It's a 670 page questionnaire on how to cut back on unnecessary bureaucracy!"

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.