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'My philosophy is to sit down and the hell with being counted.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'I give this one about three months...'

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

'Hey everybody, I've decided to stop doing landscape drawings, and start doing caricatures of my fellow passengers.'

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

'All applicants for employment must first submit to a company physical - We use it to eliminate anyone with a backbone.'

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

'Have you decided who's going to be team leader?'

'How dare they make these kind of suggestions?!'

'You're not the manager I expected.' - 'So blame yourself for having lousy judgement.'

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

'Don't try to use me. I'm not user friendly!'

'I suppose it was a blessing. Toward the end he was finding it very difficult to remain competitive.'

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'

Good solution. Now we need a good problem.

"That's not how we go about filling a C.E.O. position."

You are here.

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"

'Lets see now, Henderson, you've not shown any initiative because nobody asked you to.'

"At our company everything is based on trust. You can trust that you can trust no one."

'Tell me more about the obscene bonus package.'

'I hate it when EVERYONE is a whistle blower.'

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

'This doesn't look good.'

"Oh, he claims I bit his head off, did he? And I suppose you BELIEVED him?"

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

"That report you wrote sure made me look good to the board... Take an extra five minutes for lunch!"