Workflow Gifts

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Susan, hold all calls. I'll be in the office all day.'

'You need to fill in these forms, get the bottom two signed, then pass them to the relevant departments. If everything's ok, we will then start your application.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

37 years in the same position.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Working hours.

Overworked in the office

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

Time for More Paperwork

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'These are job perks.'

Office slaves.

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

Late/Too Late.

'I keep very close touch with the office in case things are running too smoothly without me.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

Motivation to work

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."