Work Meeting Pillows

'Next time, Featherton, I'd like to see your sales projections without the clouds.'

'Your wife's on line three. And she's asked for the speaker phone to be put on full volume.'

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

"My blood pressure usually peaks at my first staff meeting, returns to normal at lunch, and spikes on the drive home."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

Bo're'droom

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'